Where I am
a little honest update, a little change on the horizon
hello! It’s been a bit. I wanted to share a brief update about this newsletter and where I am, where my head is currently, and what is to come. Right now, I’m writing from a beautiful sunlit quiet yet also frantic moment of not knowing when exactly my baby will wake from her nap. What can I fit in before she cries out for me again? You might know this kind of moment well, a flash of brilliant freedom that could last 50 minutes or 5, always underscored with slight panic—can I ever make the commitment of tomorrow, will I be ever able to make this happen again, how can I fit in all 100 things I need to get done?? I was pretty ambitious this summer when I told you I’d be “writing through it all,” forgetting just how tricky it is to count on anything or do more than survive in the early days of a fresh baby. Throw a 4-year-old into the mix and call it short-sighted! My exhaustion has been a heavy weight recently, baby sleep an overwhelming mystery project, and I just have not totally rounded that corner (there will of course be another corner after that!) into the zone of dependability or even inspiration really. I can taste it not far off, but we just aren’t totally there yet. And so, rather than feel guilty or make apologies all the time, we’re just on a bit of a pause. You’ll see that your paid subscriptions have been on pause too, to meet me where I am.
One thing I do feel certain of, something I’ve been contemplating and hinting at for a while, is that I am untethering myself from Foliage Botanics here and elsewhere. It’s been a long time coming. That’s not to say that Foliage Botanics as a business is done forever per se—though I have decided it is going on a hard indefinite much-needed hiatus after this past year’s gentle simmer—but simply that Foliage Botanics as my whole identity is coming to a close. It means especially and as it relates to you specifically that this space is no longer the “Foliage Botanics newsletter,” but rather something different, something of my own. When I return to regular writing here again, you will not get FB business updates or marketing efforts from me in the same capacity as before (those have been rare lately anyway)—if that’s what you’re here for though, don’t fret! I’m creating a separate business newsletter space that will simply be for sharing biz-only info and offerings in the future should they pick back up. Everyone who is currently subscribed will be migrated there. You are more than welcome to unsubscribe to that one or this one as works for you.
I could probably muse a long while about this shift and it would and could look like a serious self psychoanalysis, but I’ll spare you most of that journey. I’ll just say it has been brewing for a while, maybe even from the beginning. Having my second baby became a portal for me that I was so desperate and ready to enter, a tangible reason to make changes, permission to transition away and lift up other and growing passions. On the other side, I feel certain of the shift. Ultimately, I could never fit everything I really love under the umbrella of Foliage Botanics and because of this so much of myself took the back seat. “Herbalist” became everything and Foliage Botanics like a costume I had to put on everyday, in every moment, in a way I don’t think other jobs and careers require. And yes, I am an herbalist, of course, always, but I’m also a mother, a writer, an artist, a thinker, a knitter, a gardener, a teacher… right now my excitement is especially with my kids, child development, and their nature-based learning! I want to follow the beautiful open-endedness of that thrill.
Ultimately, I really prefer being all of these things, rather than just one and I want to write to you more honestly and more clearly from this place, as this person, my whole self, about the many things that excite and inspire me as they excite and inspire me (including plants!) moving forward.
that’s it for now, see you around the corner!
xx hannah
